Day 8, Saturday- Religious Tolerance

Woke up bight and early, then spent nearly two solid hours unloading the van from the previous day’s festivities. I was installing a new porch light (shocker- the old one was broken) when a very nicely dressed lady walked up the steps.

“Are you a worker, or do you live here?” she asked.

“I live here, why?”

“I wanted to invite you to a conference and concert.”

“Thanks, but I’m Catholic.”

“That doesn’t matter” she answered, grinning a creepy, almost pedi-smile. (A pedi-smile is that strange grin that most pedophiles share. Watch for it on your local Megan’s law flyers.)

“But it mattered if I lived here, right?”

“Well….” She sensed this was not going well.

“Thanks, but my faith matters to me, and frankly, you are trespassing.” I turned my back and didn’t even watch her leave.

I took the car back to the family and was dropped off to continue my labors while the little ones enjoyed a day at the fair and playing with friends.

I worked at painting and priming, and got rid of the pellet stove when Dave came by. All in all, it was a rather quiet, productive, afternoon.

Then they came back.

This time, I was dumping trash on the porch when another well-dressed lady appeared up the street. I was tired, hungry, and looking for some amusement. I decided to play with the poor, unwitting Jehovah’s Witness rapidly approaching me.

“Good afternoon sir, I was wondering if I could invite you to a conference and concert”

“Really, can anyone come?” I asked.

“Oh yes, we’ll be celebrating the good word of our Lord.” She replied, with glee in her eyes.

“Can I bring my partner Stevie?”

“Excuse me, sir?”

I turned and yelled into the house. “Hey, Stevie, do you want to go to a concert in…. where is your event again ma’am?”

“Um, I really don’t think you boys would be comfortable attending.” She took her flyer and promptly stomped off.

“That’s very New Testament of you!” I called after her. Then I went back to work.

Total costs: $1,028