Saturday, August 05, 2006

Day 8, Saturday- Religious Tolerance

Woke up bight and early, then spent nearly two solid hours unloading the van from the previous day’s festivities. I was installing a new porch light (shocker- the old one was broken) when a very nicely dressed lady walked up the steps.

“Are you a worker, or do you live here?” she asked.

“I live here, why?”

“I wanted to invite you to a conference and concert.”

“Thanks, but I’m Catholic.”

“That doesn’t matter” she answered, grinning a creepy, almost pedi-smile. (A pedi-smile is that strange grin that most pedophiles share. Watch for it on your local Megan’s law flyers.)

“But it mattered if I lived here, right?”

“Well….” She sensed this was not going well.

“Thanks, but my faith matters to me, and frankly, you are trespassing.” I turned my back and didn’t even watch her leave.

I took the car back to the family and was dropped off to continue my labors while the little ones enjoyed a day at the fair and playing with friends.

I worked at painting and priming, and got rid of the pellet stove when Dave came by. All in all, it was a rather quiet, productive, afternoon.

Then they came back.

This time, I was dumping trash on the porch when another well-dressed lady appeared up the street. I was tired, hungry, and looking for some amusement. I decided to play with the poor, unwitting Jehovah’s Witness rapidly approaching me.

“Good afternoon sir, I was wondering if I could invite you to a conference and concert”

“Really, can anyone come?” I asked.

“Oh yes, we’ll be celebrating the good word of our Lord.” She replied, with glee in her eyes.

“Can I bring my partner Stevie?”

“Excuse me, sir?”

I turned and yelled into the house. “Hey, Stevie, do you want to go to a concert in…. where is your event again ma’am?”

“Um, I really don’t think you boys would be comfortable attending.” She took her flyer and promptly stomped off.

“That’s very New Testament of you!” I called after her. Then I went back to work.

Total costs: $1,028


At 10:46 PM, Blogger Mom of Three said...

I think this one was even better than when you asked the ones in Magalia to help find your sacrificial goat.

At 10:27 AM, Anonymous The person who occupies the seat next to you at "training" said...

One of the 'doe-eyed' gals be-decked in a symphony of ankle-length, neck covering floral fabric came by here too.

One time I pointed out to them that one of their pamphlets was very misleading - the artwork on the cover to be exact. It showed children rolling about and playing with Panda bears. I asked if the conference was taking place at the San Diego Zoo and told her that we couldnt afford the airfare.

At 6:23 PM, Anonymous Wende said...

OH crap, carrie, he didn't. Ha ha ha ha. Seriously, Tom, you are going to be LEGEND in this town in no time flat. Sacrificial goat. Ha ha ha ha.

At 1:21 AM, Blogger Tom said...

So, someone I work with tried to trade a Book of Mormon for an "Awake" magazine.

Kinda like baseball cards.

Neither party accepted the other's offer. Oh, you wacky splinter groups.


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