Sunday, November 12, 2006


We’ve been in the house for nearly two months now, I guess it is time to take stock and see how things are doing.

It seems the mighty, water-proof bathroom had an Achilles heal. When you build a room out of concrete, water-resistant lumber, latex, and ceramic you don’t expect water damage. Of course, I didn’t plan on a pair of hyper-active girls splashing an inch-and-a-half of water on the floor, either.

So, I’ve got water damage to one piece of trim, which happens to be to tile and grout. This will no doubt prove to be a tedious, messy, aggravating, pain-in-the-ass to fix. I should make the offending kids bath with a hose in the back yard until I fix it.

I can’t do that, however. That would be wrong. Stupid societal expectations of conduct.

Moving along, I find in the kitchen that the bride, in what can only be described as an impressive display of strength and clumsiness, has torn the front off of a cabinet door.

I hate the cabinets, so I’m over it. No worries. I am impressed, however.

The deep sink on the back porch was “Jerry-rigged” (see, we bought the house from a guy named Jerry….) and the drain got detached.

My wife came to the rescue by wrapping the offending pipe with a bread wrapper (yes, a bread wrapper) and flooding the mud porch. Thus it became “Carrie-rigged.”

See, her name is Carrie, and that rhymes with “Jerry”, which we use instead of “Jury” and ….. oh, never mind. At least I crack myself up.

I fixed the drain. In the process, I pulled out a pound of old Macaroni and Cheese.

I guess I’d better get a garbage disposal installed soon, as my bride apparently thinks there is one installed already. Easier for me to work than for her to adjust.

Finally, we have the hair dryer. The cursed, hated hair dryer.

My head is shaved, so drying my hair is accomplished with a hand-towel. My wife, with her long, flowing locks, needs to run a hair dryer for like 90 minutes. During this time, a breaker will invariably trip.

So, rather than replace the dryer, or even dry here hair in two runs (first with a towel), my Mensa-member wife goes into the basement and stands in an inch of water to dry her hair next to the breaker box.

Yup, she’s a smart one.

The positive? At least my next projects are all picked out.


At 5:56 PM, Blogger Oregon Coast said...

Thanks for reminding me! I have to get life insurance!

At 4:26 PM, Blogger Miss Sassy said...

I need a new hair dryer too... thanks for reminding me.
I've got the 3 dryer system going right now - towel out of the shower until it comes off in the downstairs bathroom where the dog howls at it for 15 minutes before getting in the car to HOPE its warm enough to roll down the windows, otherwise its the heater that is barely warm by the time I hit the work parking lot.

I've been wearing it up a lot so the coworkers don't realize I lost my dryer in the move...

At 11:25 PM, Blogger Tom said...

You could always do a Shorty and hang your noggin out the window on the way to work.


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