Thursday, November 16, 2006

Flotsam

I put new floor down on about 25% of the front room. That’s one-fourth for those people that like fractions, and “about so big” for people from Tillamook.

Side note: I’m tired of picking on Knappa. So, if you live in the “The Land of Cheese, Trees and Tremendous Mounds of Moldy Cow Shit” you’re in for it today.

Well, maybe not so much- seems I like Tillamook.

Unlike so many other places on the coast, Tillamook County has an industry other than inbreeding or tourism. I guess I’ll pick on Warrenton.

Ah, lovely Warrenton. Proof that some people just don’t give a shit where they live. A town featuring zoning that makes Longview look downright “planned.”

Yeah. Whatever. Guess I’m a bit angry tonight. Two days with a headache was bound to have some ill effects.

So anyways, I’ve been putting down new flooring. The boy loves the new floor, keeps running back and forth on it, scooting, and so on. I asked my wife about this.

“Oh, he’s just happy to be able to move around without tearing his taint.”

“What?” I asked.

“Well, the floor was rough and had the staple things, so we had to worry about him, you know, hurting his business.” (She pronounced it “Bid-Ness” which sounds odd coming from a skinny blonde girl.)

“No, I don’t know.”

“Well, he could’ve torn his taint, or maybe punctured his scrotum. Whoo boy, bet that would’ve hurt!” She looked at me, smiled, and then went back to half-way baking flat oatmeal cookies (Yum, doughballs!)

I just walked away at that point.

3 Comments:

At 11:33 PM, Blogger Oregon Coast said...

Yeah. You walked away to eat all those cookies.

Piker.

We should explain that Little Man didn't ever crawl, he always scooted on his butt. Therefore, his knees would not have been injured by the stray staple.

 
At 7:38 AM, Blogger Momma Boz said...

LOL! You guys are too funny!

 
At 7:01 PM, Blogger Tom said...

Oh no, she's funny.

I'm just an unfortunate straight man.

 

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