Sunday, November 19, 2006

Good Shepherd

So, having drawn the short straw, and being prone to awaking early, I was elected to take our eldest to her Religious (Indoctrination) Education classes. First up, Reconciliation.

Not confession, but Reconciliation. See, now the emphasis is on the pardon. I think this was done for the priests. Now you can do what you want, just confess, do your (significantly lighter) penance, and leave a twenty in the collection basket (we’ve got legal bills, please help!). The whole church has definitely softened up in recent years.

This has been loads of fun for me, as I am predisposed to wearing Hawaiian shirts to mass and cracking wise with my pewmates (new word!). I get odd / dirty looks from the faithful on a fairly regular basis.

My daughter, however, is fascinated by the entire practice. She loves the rituals, adores the decorations, and is giddy with anticipation for her next class.

There have been some interesting exchanges as a result of this new practice, which I will now share with you all.

During Mass:
Maddie: Why don’t you get a Jesus biscuit?
Me: What?
Maddie (Pointing to the people lining up): You know, like them.
Me: That’s called communion.
Maddie: OK, why don’t you go?
Me: I’ll tell you when you’re older.
Maddie: Is it because you’re a Godless heathen? That’s what mom calls you.
Me: No. Wait. What? Hold on. I’m here, and your Mom isn’t. Who do you think the heathen is now?
Maddie: You, because you don’t get communion.
Me: Hush.

In class:
Teacher: Who can tell me who the “Good Shepherd” is?
Maddie (waving hand): Moses!
Teacher: Yes, but...
Maddie (interrupting and nearly leaping to her feet): The burning bush, who was God, called him that.
Teacher: OK, how about in the New Testament
Maddie (with a huge grin): Ohhhhh, that would be Jesus.
Teacher: That’s right…
Maddie (interrupting): But Moses was too. You should probably make the question better.
Teacher: Yes, but we’re Catholic so we try to focus on the New….
Maddie: My children’s Bible has an Old Testament.
Teacher (visibly exasperated): Moving on…

During another Mass:
Me: Go get your blessing.
Maddie: I’ve been blessed enough for one Sunday.

She is SO my kid.


At 10:53 PM, Blogger Oregon Coast said...

First of all, it's Shepherd.

Second of all, you didn't draw the straw. You made up the straw! This is your millieu, buster.

Still, now I have to attend on her First Reconciliation.

Godless heathen.

At 11:04 PM, Anonymous wende said...

You are not a heathen. I'm qualified to make that distinction, donchaknow. :)

Send darling Maddie to me---I'll arm her will all sorts of facts to make her teacher's head spin. Happily.

Oh, and you might be doing this on purpose, who the hell knows with you,(hee) but your blog address is NOT: (what you left in your comments on my blog.)

At 11:07 PM, Blogger Tom said...

I'm in a cave up here people, be nice. No windows, no ventilation.

I fixed the spelling error (stupid spell check).

At 11:21 PM, Blogger Tom said...

Thank you, Wende.

I knew you'd appreciate the Old book references.

The link is the result of a typo, perpetuated by Firefox's beloved(?) autofill.

At 2:13 PM, Blogger Miss Sassy said...

I envision the whole scene, Hawaiian shirt, spats between redheads in the pew, one deciding the other is too snotty for their own good, the other agreeing, then both trying to pin down the Sunday school teacher on the details of why she is reading the wrong version of indocternating text... I might show up at my local Catholic church just to see if we have a pair like you around here!


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