Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Imminent Cranial Explosion

Stupid sinus infection is kicking my arse. I’ve got the headache, the congestion, and the wonderful feeling of an imminent cranial explosion.

I’ve had a few of these infections in my day. Growing up in farm lands (almonds!) taught me to recognize this fairly easily.

I felt pretty crappy today, so I hung out at home and slept (yeah NyQuil!)

My wife, obviously trying to kill me, came home from running errands and suggested- get this- shoving a Q-Tip with rubbing alcohol up my nose until it hits the sinus.

She got this suggestion from someone who is obviously either sadistic or mentally ill. Probably both.

Rather than impale my face on cottony softness, I drug my sorry butt off the couch and did what any miserable, pathetic, wretch with an abnormal and irrational fear of doctors (keep that finger to yourself!) would do. I looked up “sinus infection” on the internet.


A sinus infection can eat your damn brain. Really.

…it is possible for sinus infection to cause a direct extension of infection into the brain, creating a life threatening emergency.
Arrrrgh! Quick, check another site! Like one from the National Institutes of Health! They’re the Government! They won’t be into fear-mongering!

Let see what they say:

Although very rare, complications that may arise include:
  • Osteomyelitis -- infection that spreads to the bones in the face
  • Meningitis -- infection that spreads to the brain
  • Orbital cellulitis -- infection that spreads to the area surrounding the eye
  • Abscess
  • Blood clot
Son. Of. A. Bitch. I’m going to die.

This thing can eat my face! Or my eyes! Abscesses! Shit! I’ll be a blind, faceless, snot-laden wreck with a brain infection! That is so not going to look good in the coffin.

My Mom was right! Boogers can kill your dumb ass. I should have blown my nose!!!!

I’m doomed!

Seriously, the worst part? It typically lasts 10-14 days, although 28 days is not uncommon. Damn. Better get some meds.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Sick again

Ill again. Stupid sinuses.

Dining room is almost done, however. Just need to put down the flooring.